The Falling in Love Effect

By Anissa Ratna Putri - Februari 18, 2016

Last year the terms "falling in love" was a big question mark for me. I was looking for the answer of how people could fall in love, how one can differentiate between the real falling in love and a single crush because you feel lonely, etc. I asked people and no one can really give me an answer. 

Then I met someone who does not have to be asked to answer my question. He answered my question by simply let me falling in love with him. 

R, taken by me
I was quite surprised (and people around me too) because it was fast. It was something unpredictable, that this stubborn-hard-to-move-on-woman all of sudden has a new significant other. Here in my post, I won't write about how I fell in love with him (because that is gonna be too cheesy). Instead, I will write what falling in love with him has caused me, and what things I learned while being with him.. for a month and a half. Isn't it strange that I write about someone I knew less than three months in my blog? Oh well. Here it is.

I learn to respect the elder and to value my parents more
I don't know when did it begin, but I just realised that I might not really put too much effort to show respect to people who are older than me. It does not mean that I have a bad attitude, but it is more like I mostly not talk or type something that sounds too formal to people because 1) I hate small talk 2) I generalise that actually people are not that serious anyway. Of course there's an exception when it comes to work. But in daily life, I mostly do like aforementioned. Being with him, after one single 'reminder', now in my daily life, I pick words more carefully. I am not necessarily forcing myself to become a different version of me. Instead, I take it as a good evaluation, because when you grow up and become an adult people will easily judge you when you don't use words carefully.

I learn to value others, and to put less on my ego
Despite his talkative ability (which is kind of over sometimes), he is actually also a good observer. Being an observant, he quietly notices what are people around him good at. Then he will say, he is amazed that this person has a good knowledge, or that person has a cool talent, and how he need to learn more because he feels he is far from others. This way of thinking, lessen my ego. That I don’t need to be the best over others. Instead, I should not easily satisfied with what I knew and I should willing to learn more and more.

I listen more to indie songs
I knew there are lots of interesting indie band similar to Payung Teduh, the one that I like. But I was too lazy to browse which band is good and which band is not. Having a boyfriend with a good taste of music makes me finally listen to many other beautiful indie songs. 

I become more productive in writing
You can see it from my blog. 5 posts in 2 months? Even in the earliest day of my blog, I don’t think I wrote this much. Nowadays I feel like there is a burst of idea inside my head, that I need to write it out. One article here said that falling in love can trigger a creativity although another one here mentioned that it also can cause lack of productivity. Well, I must say if you cannot manage it well, falling in love do makes you lazy. But if you are with the right partner, and you can manage things, probably you will become productive instead. 

I start to balance my feeling and my logic
On the earliest days, I put my feeling above all. My new year resolutions are messed up because I prioritised to be with him instead of doing routines to accomplish what I have planned. But then I arrived at a point where I feel like this happy feeling from falling in love should not be wasted by being lazy and do nothing. So I started to use my logic more when arranging my daily schedule. Somehow this attempt also affect my way of thinking when I talk to him. That I do not blindly say yes to everything.

I feel like I am on my way to be the best version of me and I am willing to support him to be his best version, too.
If you follow my blog since the beginning, you may know that I don't like if my significant other is better than I am, especially in a particular field that we both like. Ego is talking. But with him, I don't want to thrive as 'I', I want to thrive as 'We'. I don’t mind to collaborate because when I am with him somehow I don’t feel stupid or clever. I feel like we both are equal learners, one might be better than the other at some point, but anyway, we learn and share together. And it feels good.


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