A Year of Change

By Anissa Ratna Putri - Januari 08, 2018

If there is anything that can describe 2017, 'a year of change' it is.

As much as I experienced some big moments of my life in 2017, the excitement to write on it, somehow, not as much as when I wrote 2015 in recap (and the same thing goes to 2016 post). Maybe because 2015 was the beginning of my life in Japan, thus everything feels exciting.  Nevertheless, looking back at the memories, I realised that so many heartwarming moments in 2017. The year actually has been quite good to me: it delivers some great change in my life that surely deserves a post.

It started with master thesis period. Every time I hear HONNE's songs, I still can picture those winter days when I worked in GSGES lounge with Rika and Indra until midnight, then rode my bicycle back home in cold - for the sake of thesis paper. The struggle then finally brought me to earn the Master of Global Environmental Studies title at the end of March, which means: goodbye to sensei and laboratory mates, goodbye to my student status, goodbye to some friends in college, and (temporary) goodbye to Kyoto. 

I would say, surviving my master study for two years is.. another check point in my life. However, turns out, I feel like it was not what I am looking for. I feel like someone who granted with something I want but not something I (really) need. Despite that, I believe every thing is on His plan and I had such wonderful years in Kyoto University anyway. For that, I am really grateful.

I went back to Indonesia, got sick, and then hospitalized for a while. It's been years since I experience real sickness (welcome back, typhoid!). In the meantime, I was excited to prepare my wedding - while also working for the same socio-enterprise where I used to work.

From the work, I got to build connections with people from multinational companies as well as from other institution that concern on waste management. Even though my significant work was only the Circular Economy Forum 2017, I am glad I chose to take the opportunity offered by Kak Sano, because then I got to meet those amazing people - and I had the chance to built my relationship with the new members of Waste4Change.

As for the wedding preparation, I am proud of myself that managed to compromise my idealism with others' expectation. I worked back to back with my mom, who is the best partner in event organizing, although she turns out not the best one when it comes to choosing vendors.

There were times when I questioned myself, 
is it really necessary to spend all the effort (and the money) for a half-day-event? 

In the end, I am glad that I put my best into it because the result is quite heartwarming. I realized that, even though that day wasn't all about me and Rizky, I was surrounded by so much love from people that I feel really grateful even though I barely know them. I also learned that being happy by making other people happy is the best feeling ever - something that I learned by seeing my parents' face after the reception. Tired, but full of happiness.

The wedding leads to another new part of my life: living with Rizky. As we've been neighbors for a year, I thought this gonna be quite easy. While in fact, it's not. As much as we're happy that we are now together, we also face challenges - Rizky with my rollercoaster mood, I with the existence of someone 24/7 in my life. As an introvert, I feel like I lose my me-time and my privacy, which felt really uneasy at first. But then we managed to deal with the issue, compromise things to one another. It's not always lovey-dovey things all the time, but it always feels exciting. Marriage is really a chance to develop together.

Other than the relationship issue, the life after marriage also brought me to another challenge: working from home. I always thought this is what I want - to be flexible with my time, working whenever and wherever I want. While in fact, when you are so flexible with your time, you need to put a strong commitment to what you want to achieve. Otherwise, you may end up spending all your time for something else that not on the right path to achieve your goal. In the end of 2017, I was struggling with this. I wanted to learn from the online class, I wanted to learn Japanese, I wanted to develop my cooking skill, I wanted to take the tour guide part-time job - while at the same time I also wanted to earn money from writing. Typically me - I want to do it all, and end up feeling like I am doing some 'productive' things which actually an escape from the main thing that I should work on: writing.

The year 2017 was about changing: student status, single status, living experience. I achieved most things in my 5 years plan, despite my rollercoaster mood who said 'you should achieve more!'. But life is a choice, isn't it? We cannot have it all at once. I believe there will be time for me to achieve those things that I haven't achieve now. Those things are just postponed, not failed.

As for 2018, I am trying to be more organized, to be more discipline to myself, to be more focus on the 'real goalinstead of the 'side-goal'. Let the year become a chance for me to develop my writing skill while enjoying my time with Rizky in Japan. Let's rock 2018!


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